Clubhouse Facilitation of Independent Employment

By Susan Frank

Susan Frank is a member of Yahara House, in Madison, Wisconsin.

I am a member of Yarara House in Madison, Wisconsin, and I am working full-time. Many times I didn't think I'd ever get there; it was too scary to even think about. But I'm getting ahead of my story.

The beginning of my story is that I was spending about half of my life in hospitals, and the other half walking around really anxious, scared, and not liking myself. But I was so used to all of those feelings, that having an occasional good day made me even more un-comfortable.

The working part of my life started with several jobs, all of which I lost due to hospitalizations or just plain bad attendance. Once I actually got to work, I did fine, and could usually end doing a good job. But I called in sick until I ran out of creative excuses about why I couldn't come in that day, and then I would stop calling in altogether.

When I came to Yahara House and tried Transitional Employment placements, it took several attempts before I was able to complete a whole six-month placement. And then, once I did complete a few six-month TE jobs, I started to recognize another problem: I didn't want to leave the relationships I had begun to develop with the people that I worked with and had begun to care about.

That feeling led me to another feeling, which was that I wanted my own job, --a job that would be mine to keep. Finally, two years ago this month, I got my present job through an advertisement in the newspaper. It was a part-time data entry job at the local bank, and I really liked the work. But, I still had trouble with my attendance. Finally, things reached a crisis point, and my boss Jerry called me at home during one of my many episodes of the "flu". He confronted me about my absences, and I told him that I would promise to show up every day with no excuses. He gave me a last chance. My back was against the wall, and I went to work every day for the next three months.

During that time I found out some interesting things about working. I learned that people will put up with almost anything from you if you're there every day, and on time. By now I'm sure that most people at the bank have noticed that sometimes I escape to the bathroom to cry. They must have an idea that something is "wrong" with me, and some people in my department know that I am mentally ill. But because I have been there for them every day, now they are there for me.

One of the most special parts about my job is learning how good honest relationships can be, and how they can begin to color the way I feel about myself. As you work with someone, you leave yourself open to being in a relationship with them. This process started at the Clubhouse and has continued both there and at work as my relationships grow stronger and I begin to "give back.". In a work setting, relationships are mutual. They can be good or bad, but they are never one way. You do your jobs together and, in the process, you learn how to value each other as people. I have struggled with myself during this process to find my new "niche" in the Clubhouse, and have wondered whether there was one for me now. One thing that Clubhouses need to address as their members go back to work is how to grow with someone, - to provide them with the opportunity to give back to the members and staff who have supported them through TE and part-time independent employment.

In a sense, I have a new role in the Clubhouse now the independently employed member. In some ways this label has been useful, although in other ways it feels like it's held me back.

As the "independently employed member," I have tried to give back to Yahara House in many ways. I have mentored a member struggling with a substance abuse problem, I have given some fundraising speeches as part of Yahara House's campaign to raise money for a new building. Most recently, I have become Membership Chair for the Friends of Yahara House, a group of community members who support and try to help our Clubhouse, mostly through fundraising and community network.

So. Back to how Clubhouses facilitate independent employment. Yahara House offered me the TE experiences which I so clearly needed on my road to independent employment. They struggled with me around my work problems, as I struggled with me around my work problems, as I struggled myself. Most importantly, they believed in me even when I didn't.

Clubhouse relationships, though, even in a great Clubhouse like Yahara House, aren't relationships of equals. There is an element of dependency. So when I went on to independent employment, as would be true with any member making this transition, I needed my Clubhouse relationships to change in order to be helpful. Staff members are able to support one another through their personal ordeals and difficulties, as equals. But as an "independently employed member", I still did not have access to that kind of relationships with other members is no longer there for me, either, in the way it was when I didn't have my own job.

As our roles ("member", "staff", "independently employed member", "director") define us, so they also separate us from each other, from stretching our limits and supporting each other as people rather than as objects or job descriptions. There have, though, been some relationships through Yahara House and through the Clubhouse network which have broken free of the limits of "roles", and have helped sustain me in independent employment.

The best ones, the most helpful ones, were based on friendship, and equality, - although I needed to stop stigmatizing myself before this could truly happen. It sounds like a clichÚ to say that I can be "whomever I want to be", but how I see myself really does affect how I present myself to others, and, therefore, how they treat me. It's been hard for me to give up the "member' role, -but as I begin to convince myself that I am competent, valuable, and even a good person, that needy dependent shell is beginning to break up. I still have my work adjustment problems. Sometimes it's still tough, but I guess it is for everybody. Mostly, as the song says, "I get by with a little help from my friends."